Thin Line Between Stupid and Clever

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Sorry Ma’am, All Adoptions Final

Ok, so last week a woman from Shelbyville, TN sent her adopted Russian son back to Russia. Couple things, first this is not made up.  Second, WTF is wrong with people.  The mother claims that the boy is “mentally unstable.”  Well no shit, we’re talking about a Russian orphan suddenly finding himself in the “Walking Horse Capital of the World.” Not entirely sure anyone could properly adapt to that situation.

More than likely, we are NOT talking about The Good Son here, but the mother is not taking any chances.  She decides the best course of action is to return the kid.  Apparently following Amazon.com’s return policy, she simply places the child on an airplane back to Russia with a “this kid is crazy” note attached.  Of course, this pisses Russia off.  They can’t have a sudden influx of returned children, so now they are threatening to cut off all adoptions to the United States.  There were 1600 adoptions from Russia to the U.S. last year (according to the National Council on Adoption), but Russia would rather just keep these kids than have to deal with another “batshit crazy” person from Shelbyville.

Look people, there has to be a solution here that is in the best interest of everyone.  Obviously this woman should not be allowed access to children so remove her from the equation.  The kid likely does have emotional or mental trauma, but there’s a good chance it can be treated and that he can be placed in a stable environment.  Russia doesn’t want to hold on to 1,600 orphans annually, and the other 1,599 families who adopt these children should not be punished.  Let’s just all settle down and reach a nice agreement, ok?

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5 thoughts on “Sorry Ma’am, All Adoptions Final

  1. James S. on said:

    I agree. I don’t think it’s logical for Russia to completely cut off the adoption relationship with the United States just because of one lunatic in Tennessee.

  2. Hey guys… hate to burst your bubble and knock you down off ur soapbox nate, but i dont live to far away from shelbyville… and lemme tell ya, these russian hooligans have no place in our red-white-and-blue real america. I mean, down here, we have black and white signs along the road in like 2000 pt font reminding us that jesus NEVER drove over 55 and if the speedometer even flickers over 60, god is going to take a shit in our very best pair of boots and then not let us in heaven.

    I mean, as far as americans go, tennesseans run a pretty tight ship around here. These sons and daughters of cold-war ruskies just dont fly in these parts. Always running around talking about Karl Marx and bread lines? THIS THE U S AND A damnit. Enough of these shitty little commie bastards. Send em back to the goolags where they belong.

  3. Aaron B on said:

    Bottom line – Tennessee needs MORE secular protestants. Especially the ones that talk in a mixed language that resembles something between between arabic and whatever language pootie tang speaks, and run up and down the aisles like their pants just got set on fire) and less Russian Orthodox-ites. Those priests beards are just completely out of control.

    But, we are looking for some rock-and-roll christians though. I don’t know if Daughtry or Scott Stapp have had any kids lately… but if they’d want to come down to shelbyville and start their own little metal congregation im sure there would be plenty of volunteers (nyuck nyuck nyuck) to take them in.

  4. Pingback: Sorry Ma’am, All Adoptions Final, ctd. « Thin Line Between Stupid and Clever

  5. tiredmommax3 on said:

    Aaron..all I can say is wow. I heard this story and thought..no way. Can’t be. Who the f does that. Return a kid with a note. I’m thinking the kid is not the only one mentally unstable. She’s a fucknut!

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