I’ll Never Care About Man vs. Food
I must admit that I loathe about 98% of the programs on television: Entertainment Tonight, The Hills, E! News, Grey’s Anatomy, just about anything on Vh1; I could go on forever. (I also pretty much hate anyone who regularly watches that garbage.) There are plenty of shitty shows to despise, but I honestly think the dumbest show on television is Man vs. Food, on the Travel Channel.
Holy Mary Mother-of-God, what an awful show. First of all, it is painfully boring. The host, Adam Richman, travels to various eateries around the country and inhales the most embarrassingly huge portions of just about every type of food. That’s it, that’s the whole show. Pretty lame, huh? Who gives a damn if a guy can eat a Volkswagon smothered in chili peppers? Surely not me. Call me crazy, but I watch television to be entertained or to learn something. I assume that Man vs. Food is supposed to be entertaining, because the only thing you could possibly learn from watching it is how to be a dick. I guess I’m old fashioned, but I like my entertainers to have some sort of skill or talent. I’m entertained by a captivating story, an amusing anecdote or joke, good music, et cetera. Being able to devour a life-sized mashed potato sculpture of an African elephant is not a talent, it’s just gluttony. This brings me to the other reason I hate Man vs. Food – it’s morally wrong.
We live in a world where a little more than a billion people survive on less than $5 per day. Knowing that, how could anyone enjoy a show where some asshole routinely takes in more calories in a single meal than some families consume over the course of several days? I realize the purpose of the show is to give publicity to some notable restaurants, but that can be accomplished without glorifying gluttony and intemperance. There are tons of shows on T.V. that give recognition to good restaurants without deifying some douche with an elastic stomach. (Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives on the Food Network is one such program.) If Adam Richman wants to impress me, he should try eating a bowl full of razor blades and washing it down with a jug of bleach. I might actually watch that.
Editor’s note: More things James will never care about can be found here.