Why You Should Watch the World Cup
Okay, what I’m about to attempt is probably pretty foolish, but that won’t stop me from trying to convince you to watch the World Cup this summer. Now let me be clear, I am not a really soccer (futbol) fan, nor do I have any real knowledge of the sport. Although I have a tremendous amount of respect for soccer and the athletes who play it, soccer has never really been my thing. Like most Americans, I’m much more comfortable with baseball, basketball, and/or football. Despite my indifference towards soccer, I think the World Cup is probably the coolest thing in all of sports, and that’s why you should watch it.
In trying to persuade you watch the World Cup, I”m not going to delve into the compelling storylines, mainly because I don’t know what they are, but partly because you’ll soon be inundated by them every time you turn on ESPN. The main reason I want you to watch the World Cup is because of foreigners. Let me explain. You see here in the United States, the overwhelming majority of our top athletes gravitate towards football or basketball, hell, some of them even play baseball. Most, but not all, of our best athletes have no interest in soccer, whatsoever. This is in stark contrast to the rest of the world. In nearly every other country on this planet, with a few exceptions, the best athletes dream of nothing but soccer. This means that most of the world’s top athletes play soccer, except of course, those from the U. S. Although Americans are well aware of the traditional athletic disparity between the U. S. soccer team and other teams from around the globe, people from other countries don’t care about the numerous reasons why the U. S. typically has an inferior team – all they know is that the U. S. is mediocre at best. They feel that if you’re in the World Cup, then you have no excuses when you lose. And even though I can argue against that point all day, those folks are right.
I want the United States to crush everyone in this World Cup, although I sure as hell wouldn’t bet on that actually happening. I want to rub it in the rest of the world’s face that the U. S. can use second-rate talent to defeat the world’s best athletes at their most cherished sport. This is the one sport where the U. S. is a perennial underdog, so I don’t have to have a shred of guilt when we win, unlike Olympic Basketball. So, even if you dislike soccer, watch the World Cup this summer and cheer hard for the American National Team – and feel free to flip a middle finger to the rest of the world if we actually win any games.