There’s No Such Thing As the Fast Lane.
“THE LEFT LANE IS THE FAST LANE!!! GET THE HELL OVER YOU STUPID STUPID PERSON!!!”
How many times have you heard that, or seen it as a tweet, or status update, or whatever the hell we use nowadays to communicate. Probably quite a few. Well, turns out, it’s about as ass-backwards a thing as you can say. Now, don’t get me wrong, I think most realize that you’re not supposed to hang out in the left lane, but by screwing up the terms, you’re not helping the problem.
Okay, so once and for all – it’s the PASSING lane.
I’m not gonna break the physics down too much, partly because it’s 8:00 AM, but mostly because it’s unnecessary and I probably couldn’t do it anyway. However, let me say this: FAST is a relative term. If you’re hanging out in the left lane because you’re going “fast,” then you’re part of the problem. So next time you roll up on an Ohio driver doing 71 and just chillin’ in the fast [sic] lane, please remember… in their little buckeye-sized brains, they probably ARE going fast.
In conclusion: pass the car in front of you, and get the hell back in the right lane. Imagine if you’re viewing the road from above: in a perfect little world, there’s one big chain of traffic, with an occasional person jumping out of line and leap-frogging the sunday-driver in front of him. Can you visualize? Just one steady stream, everyone working together, and being courteous enough to change lanes after they pass someone. But, as with everything else, the 5% of people who are assholes, screw it up for the other 95%.
Now, a few more things:
1. If you live in an area that has such a high density of traffic that both/all lanes of traffic are constantly filled, then you’re screwed, and ignore this post.
2. Ohioans are awesome people, they just have small brains and don’t know how to drive.
3. All you bastards hanging out in the passing lane are probably the same people who, when there’s a lane closure, try to drive all the way down to the barrels, and then tuck into line in front of 50 nice, decent people, who have waited their turn. Dont you realize that your actions are what makes the traffic slow down in the first place? STEADY STREAM, ONE LINE FOLKS. Seriously? Are we in kindergarten? You have enough money to afford a 45k automobile but you don’t have the decency to not skip line? Because, let’s be honest, that’s really what you’re doing – you just have a car, and door locks, and people aren’t able or willing to kick your ass (or wreck you). Way to be a selfish (and cowardly), piece of shit.
4. If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.