ESPN’s Coverage of Tom Brady Car Crash Makes Me Wish ESPN Would Have a Car Crash
Tom Brady was in a car wreck this morning. WHAT?? YOU DON’T CARE????? Well ESPN cares. ESPN cares A LOT. In fact it’s been the headline story all day. You may be wondering if Tom Brady was hurt. He wasn’t; of course, this matters little to the bohemoth of sports networks. I actually read the headline “Tom Brady unhurt in car crash” scroll along the ticker today. Well holy hell!!!! A grown man in one of America’s largest cities was in a car accident. There are over 17,000 car wrecks in the U.S. every day, and 115 of those people fucking die. Hear that ESPN? Death is the polar opposite of “unhurt.” Brady can’t be the first professional athlete to have been in a car wreck over the past 28 years, right? Because I sure as shit don’t remember ever hearing about any other one. Fuck.