Thin Line Between Stupid and Clever

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So I’ve Finished Every Episode of Battlestar Galactica…

Two nights ago I finally finished my long quest to finish the complete series of Battlestar Galactica. That’s right, I spent several hours over many months watching a show many people know about solely through the above clip. This is a show in which machines attack humans and basically destroy the entire human race minus 40,000 or so survivors. These survivors go off looking for this place called “Earth” (heard of it?), while the cylons simultaneously chase them and look for the same “Earth.” Four seasons later, this happens:

Ha! Just kidding. I’m not going to tell you what happens at the end, because you may go on your own nerd adventure someday. As a review I’ll just say that this show annoyed the hell out of me over time. First, there’s this Baltar guy who’s really just one of those characters you wish would die in like episode 5, but the creators are convinced needs to stick around for THE ENTIRE SERIES. The creators were wrong.

Hot or not?

Also, was I supposed to find this Starbuck person attractive? I was never sure. In one scene I’d be thinking “nice boobs, but that face,” and then the next scene I’d be thinking “well, maybe her face isn’t that bad and her boobs are still nice.” Then she’d be wearing a wife beater and I’d just think “those arms scare me. ” This was all very distracting because she’s one of, if not, the main character of the show. I like to form firm positions on the attractiveness of television characters early on. This one had me constantly confused.

But the previous two complaints really pale in comparison to this one: the fucking cylons themselves. I get that these things were a threat, and they were semi-cool as this ominous presence that was going to kill everyone including maybe hot Starbuck at any moment, but they became way less cool when it became clear they were being guided by a girl in a bathtub. What the hell is that? A bathtub? Really? Plus, there were multiple versions of each one of the cylon characters, so by season 4 I had no idea which of the Asian cylons I was supposed to be rooting for. I went with the safe bet and just rooted for all of them. I love Asians.

Nothing tops Shawn and Cory for tv romance. Nothing

That’s not to say that there weren’t things I legitimately enjoyed about the show. Apart from the aforementioned Asian cylon population, I very much enjoyed the relationship between Admiral Adama and Stands with a Fist. Legitimately one of the best television relationships I can remember, excluding Cory and Shawn of course. The space battles were well done for television and the acting was generally solid. I also liked that they dealt with things like finding water, waste disposal, etc. in interesting ways. Issues like that are never dealt with on shows like this, but finding water would obviously be a major concern of 40,000 people with nowhere to land their spaceships.

After the series finale, I did some digging around for opinions on the show and particularly that ending. Many people (including my wife) seem fairly angry with the way things ended. I am not one of those people. There were guns, and space battles, and death. That’s really everything I want in a science fiction show about war. Beyond that, I actually found the twist on “Earth” to be pretty interesting. It even made me feel dumb for screaming “WHY ARE THEY USING BULLETS IN THE FUTURE?!” in every other episode.

So would I watch this series again? No. No I would not. It dragged on too much in spots and it just wasn’t for me, but there were some things I legitimately enjoyed. If you’re really into science fiction, you’ve probably already watched this show. If you’re not, there’s a good chance you’d never even consider watching this show. But for that small minority of people out there like me, who may one day debate jumping in, I would probably say go for it. Except for the New Caprica stuff the middle seasons are generally meh. but the first and last seasons are generally enjoyable. Just know that if you go past the first season, you’ll be sucked into all of the mythology and mystery which will keep you around until the end. There’s your warning. Enjoy.

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One thought on “So I’ve Finished Every Episode of Battlestar Galactica…

  1. RandomGuy on said:

    You know that a TV show sucks when the “bad guys” make more sense than the “hope, optimism and rainbows” crew with no hint of sarcasm to be found.

    It tries to promote itself as a gritty, serious and militaristic sci-fi show, but it’s actually the reimagining of the Bible in space with robots and with tons of deus ex machinas.

    Good god, the ending was awful and cringe-induncing.

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