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Archive for the category “Politics”

Racist Utah Man Fires Obama Supporters

Are you looking to do business with a racist owned digital forensics company? Then boy have I got the place for you. Here is Terry Lee from Terry Lee Forensics:

“Love it. We had to let two employees go to cover new Obongocare [sic] costs and increased taxes,” Lee wrote. “Found two Obongo supporters and gave them the news yesterday. They wanted the idiot in the Whitehouse [sic], they reap the benefits.”

Neetzan Zimmerman points out that Urban Dictionary defines Obongo as a “play on Barack Hussein Obama II’s last name, citing his roots as a typical Apefrican, bongo beating, bush monkey.” But Mr. Lee doesn’t stop at just being a racist; he is also an idiot. Zimmerman also points out that Obamacare only requires business with 50 or more employees to provide those employees with health insurance. Mr. Lee’s company has nine.

[Salt Lake Tribune via Gawker]

 

So Sandy Hook Conspiracy Theorists Actually Exist? We’ve All Failed.

Willy Wonka Sandy HookI realize that there are lunatics who believe in conspiracies of all shapes and sizes. The moon landing was filmed in a studio in someone’s back yard. Everyone, and I mean everyone, shot J.F.K. Bush organized 9/11. Obama was born on a foreign planet or Kenya. Examples of lunacy are not hard to find. But, the Sandy Hook massacre? Come on, people.

For a conspiracy to have legs, there must be a real reason that the conspiracy would be carried out in the first place. So, the government organized an operation with multiple shooters to EXECUTE 20 ELEMENTARY SCHOOLCHILDREN in Connecticut. For what? So Obama could propose universal background checks and ban assault weapons? Really? Obama, or someone in the government, conducted a black ops mission to KILL CHILDREN so that assault weapons could be banned and more people would have to get background checks? Seems kinda extreme considering President Clinton was able to pass an assault weapons ban in the 1990’s without KILLING CHILDREN.

And that doesn’t even get into all of the other problems with this theory. If the United States government had concocted this plan to ban assault weapons BY KILLING CHILDREN, they would have to bring in a lot of folks in on the conspiracy, including all of the news organizations, all of the parents, all of the school employees, all of the local law enforcement, etc. If mistakes in news coverage are used as part of the basis for these theories, then these organizations must have really failed in the cover-up responsibilities. I bet Obama is pissed that everyone didn’t play their parts exactly how they were rehearsed on the mock Sandy Hook stage erected in his Kenya mystery bunker.

Your theories are so believable.

Your theories are so believable.

Oh, and then there’s Adam Lanza. I know when I first saw a photo of him, I thought “definitely a part of the United States black ops program.” I mean it’s obvious that he was born to play a critical role in KILLING CHILDREN so that someone couldn’t buy an assault rifle at Wal-Mart. I mean, so obvious. Am I right?

Bottom line: if you believe in this, you are an idiot. You should be shunned. Sure, you watched a video put together by a random person somewhere that looked mighty convincing, but you also have a brain. Let’s try putting it to use.

Listen, People. Newt Gingrich is Not Going to Win. Let’s Move On.

If you’ve been following the news today, then you know that in an interview with ABC News one of Newt Gingrich’s 27 past wives is claiming that the Newtmeister once asked her for an “open marriage.” Wonderful. You’ve placed the image of Newt Gingrich having sex into my head. Thanks, but I don’t care. I know I’m supposed to care because Newt Gingrich is running for President and an “open marriage” is not presidential, but Newt Gingrich is not going to win. He’s just not. Barring being found with a trunk full of dead circus clowns, Mittens is going to win and we all know this.

Yes I know that Gingrich may win the South Carolina primary. That’s thrilling. Get him a cookie. It was only a couple weeks ago that Rick Santorum won Iowa and this was supposed to be important except it wasn’t important at all and now no one knows for sure whether Rick Santorum is even running anymore. A couple of months before that Rick Perry was sure to win because he was handsome and a “straight shooter” and like Dubya in all the good ways but not like Dubya in all the bad ones (which were almost all of them). Those fools had no chance to win (well maybe Rick Perry had a miniscule chance until he spoke words out loud) and neither does Newt Gingrich. Everyone knows this, but the media doesn’t want the race to be settled so for the next few days or weeks we’ll be forced to look upon women sad enough to have had sex with Newt Gingrich. We’ll be told that this is important because Newt is important because he has a fantasy of becoming POTUS. We will be told this until another Republican gets their turn to not be Romney and that cycle will continue until there is mercifully no one left but Romney. Then we can all vote for Obama.

When Campaigns Die: Rick Perry and Herman Cain

Over the past week we have seen two campaigns for the Republican nomination for POTUS end before our very eyes. First, Rick Perry:

It’s bad enough that someone running for President would so cavalierly promise to disband the Department of Education, but to then simply forget his own asinine talking point is embarrassing for all involved. You can tell Ron Paul was ashamed to be on the same stage, and Ron Paul has a lot to be ashamed about.

Next, Herman Cain:

This man knows nothing about a war that was taking place while he was campaigning. This worse than Perry’s gaffe, because while Perry had a public speaking meltdown, Cain simply shows complete ignorance of a war that only recently ended. He wasn’t asked for a dissertation on the War of 1812. Although I imagine his answer would have been, “Was that the one in 1812?”

Both of these individuals have found themselves leading the Republican field at various times. A significant portion of Republican primary voters have considered both of these men, at one point or another, as qualified to be President of the United States of America. Your 2011 Republican Party, folks.

“Imagine There’s No Pizza”

Your leader for the Republican presidential nomination:

John Yoo Continues to Love that Torture

The only thing more annoying than the “holier than thou” attitude taken by some toward the Bin Laden killing, has been the race among some to somehow give Bush ALL of the credit for that same killing.  The best example of this has now come from John Yoo, the creepy looking troll, and generally terrible attorney, who authored the “torture memo” in 2003.  He goes beyond simply giving Bush some credit, by arguing that Bush’s torture policy somehow led to the successful Bin Laden mission.

Without the intelligence produced by Bush policies, the SEAL helicopters would be idling their engines at their Afghanistan base even now. In the war on terror, it is easy to pull the trigger—it is hard to figure out where to aim.

Just seeing Yoo’s name in print makes me all types of angry, but Andrew Cohen has the best and most adequate response to Yoo’s ridiculous argument.

Former government lawyer John Yoo taking credit on behalf of the Bush administration for Sunday’s strike against Osama bin Laden is like Edward John Smith, the captain of the Titanic, taking credit for the results of the 1998 Academy Awards.

Spending your life defending torture must be a miserable existence.

I Abhor Violence As Much As The Next Guy….But C’mon Folks

First of all, I have to admit that I am extremely happy about the death of Osama Bin Laden.  I would have preferred that we captured him alive, so we could  watch him slowly deteriorate and wither into nothing over the next 20 years or so.  (For those of you who are unaware, kidney dialysis is akin to torture – just ask anyone who’s had the misfortune to undergo it.)  But all in all, I’m pretty pleased with the way things unfolded.  Another feel good aspect of this story for me is the fact that for about 24 hours or so, it felt like we were one country again.  Now I know this sounds pretty cheesy, but it really made me proud to see my fellow countrymen, Democrat and Republican alike, put aside their differences and celebrate this achievement together.  And although I knew this suspension of political hostilities would only be momentary, it was still nice to see.  The killing of Bin Laden also had another beneficial effect in that it moved the American public to do something that it doesn’t do nearly enough – and that is thank the U. S. military.  Although Bin Laden’s death doesn’t end our struggle with terrorism by a long shot, I feel confident that the vast majority of the American public is pleased about his death.  But, for those people who are not pleased about his death, I have a few words. Read more…

News Flash! Americans Still Dumb

Americans are idiots.  Not just a few Americans, but a significant majority of them are embarrassing morons.  We have long had anecdotal evidence of this through the Birthers, Truthers, and Sarah Palin supporters, but today brings further proof.  From Newsweek:

When NEWSWEEK recently asked 1,000 U.S. citizens to take America’s official citizenship test, 29 percent couldn’t name the vice president. Seventy-three percent couldn’t correctly say why we fought the Cold War. Forty-four percent were unable to define the Bill of Rights. And 6 percent couldn’t even circle Independence Day on a calendar.

Six percent of American citizens could not circle Independence Day on a calendar.  If you extrapolate the survey results out to the full United States population, that is 18.48 million people who either do not know that July 4th is Independence Day or are entirely unable to read and process a calendar.  Hey, but at least we now know who’s been watching Two and Half Men all of these years.

Let’s Have a Look at These Sarah Palin “Qualifications”

Conservatives4Palin, a group apparently made up of crazies, has listed the “10 Qualifications Sarah Palin Has Over Five Recent Presidents.”  From a comedic standpoint, it’s almost too good to be true.  Let’s jump right in:

Qualification #1:  Ten Years in Municipal Government

Laughable quote:

For all their heroics in state legislatures, governorships, and the hallowed halls of Harvard, Yale and the Naval Academy, none of the five presidents pictured above spent so much as one day in municipal government.

These people sincerely believe that Palin’s time as mayor of the “Meth Capital of Alaska” is somehow more of a qualification for President of the United States than serving in state legislatures, governorships, or in the Naval Academy.  Just let that sink in for a second.  Insane.  And this is her #1 qualification.

Qualification #2:  Ten Years Volunteer Work in the Parent Teacher Association (their hyphenations, not mine)

According to PTA’s website, the organization is made up of roughly 5 million members.  Palin is at least as qualified as 5 million other people; so that’s good.

When I was young, I was convinced that PTA meetings were a place where my mom and teachers got together to discuss ways in which to make school even more unbearable.  I still blame them for the ill-fated “milk in bags” experiment.  Who knew they were actually just taking a “Let’s be President of the United States” prep course?  I have a whole new appreciation for my mom.  Thanks, Conservatives4Palin!!

Qualification #3:  Two years pro-life advocacy.

The support for this qualification seems to be that Palin has given several speeches in which she took a pro-life stance.  But if she’s so pro-life, wouldn’t she have more than two years of pro-life advocacy?  Two years seems a little lazy.  I mean:  wasn’t George W. Bush pro-life?  He was POTUS for eight years, so Read more…

“Quite simply the biggest mass delusion I’ve witnessed in the quarter of century I’ve lived in America.”

That is Andrew Sullivan’s quote regarding the American public’s continued belief that Republicans actually represent fiscal conservatism.  He’s right.  Take a look at this graph:

Since the end of World War II, only Reagan, Bush I, and Dubya saw the nation’s debt burden rise over the course of their term(s).  Guess what party those three guys represented.  Of course, it’s much easier to simply blame Obama, label all Democrats as socialist money spenders, and pretend the Republicans will actually do anything whatsoever about the deficit.  Good luck with that 2010 election, America!

[Graph via James Fallows]

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