Thin Line Between Stupid and Clever

Opining on Whatever

Archive for the category “Random”

So Sandy Hook Conspiracy Theorists Actually Exist? We’ve All Failed.

Willy Wonka Sandy HookI realize that there are lunatics who believe in conspiracies of all shapes and sizes. The moon landing was filmed in a studio in someone’s back yard. Everyone, and I mean everyone, shot J.F.K. Bush organized 9/11. Obama was born on a foreign planet or Kenya. Examples of lunacy are not hard to find. But, the Sandy Hook massacre? Come on, people.

For a conspiracy to have legs, there must be a real reason that the conspiracy would be carried out in the first place. So, the government organized an operation with multiple shooters to EXECUTE 20 ELEMENTARY SCHOOLCHILDREN in Connecticut. For what? So Obama could propose universal background checks and ban assault weapons? Really? Obama, or someone in the government, conducted a black ops mission to KILL CHILDREN so that assault weapons could be banned and more people would have to get background checks? Seems kinda extreme considering President Clinton was able to pass an assault weapons ban in the 1990’s without KILLING CHILDREN.

And that doesn’t even get into all of the other problems with this theory. If the United States government had concocted this plan to ban assault weapons BY KILLING CHILDREN, they would have to bring in a lot of folks in on the conspiracy, including all of the news organizations, all of the parents, all of the school employees, all of the local law enforcement, etc. If mistakes in news coverage are used as part of the basis for these theories, then these organizations must have really failed in the cover-up responsibilities. I bet Obama is pissed that everyone didn’t play their parts exactly how they were rehearsed on the mock Sandy Hook stage erected in his Kenya mystery bunker.

Your theories are so believable.

Your theories are so believable.

Oh, and then there’s Adam Lanza. I know when I first saw a photo of him, I thought “definitely a part of the United States black ops program.” I mean it’s obvious that he was born to play a critical role in KILLING CHILDREN so that someone couldn’t buy an assault rifle at Wal-Mart. I mean, so obvious. Am I right?

Bottom line: if you believe in this, you are an idiot. You should be shunned. Sure, you watched a video put together by a random person somewhere that looked mighty convincing, but you also have a brain. Let’s try putting it to use.

Good Thing It’s Friday

Because I’m feeling like this:

 
GIFSoup

Look, People. West Virginia is a STATE!


“…another team from the state of Virginia: West Virginia.” Uh, no.

As someone who was born and raised in West Virginia and has since traveled a fair amount in addition to living elsewhere, I have heard almost every possible slight there is to make about the state and its natives. Some are somewhat deserved (“rednecks”), while some are not (most of us do wear shoes). However, there is one particular insult that’s more bothersome than all others: mistaking West Virginia for a part of Virginia. West Virginia is a state, not a Virginia territory. The worst part about this insult (as seen in the video above) is that most people do not recognize they are doing any insulting whatsoever. Tell someone you are from West Virginia and at least half of the time the person will respond that they know someone from Norfolk/Richmond/Roanoke or that they knew someone who went to Virginia Tech. Norfolk, Richmond, and Roanoke are cities in the state of Virginia. Virginia Tech is a university located in Blacksburg, also a city in Virginia.

I realize that people who respond this way are usually trying to be nice and to relate through conversation, but the sheer ignorance is grating. Do people from South Carolina have this problem? Do they get responses such as, “My cousin is from Charlotte,” when they disclose where they’re from? Does this happen? If so, then that would make me a little happier to know that we aren’t the only ones who constantly experience this level of ignorance.

For most of my life I ignored this particular insult and chalked it up to the person just being confused, but I don’t do that anymore. My token response has shifted to either bluntly pointing out that Roanoke is in Virginia and that Virginia is a separate state in the same way that Nevada and Maine are separate states, or by responding that I know someone from a city obviously not within the borders of whatever particular state they are from. I realize that, “Oh, you’re from Florida. I have a cousin who lives in Houston,” likely flies straight over the dufus’ head in nine out of ten cases, but if just that one person goes forth knowing that West Virginia is not a territory of Virginia, then a small bit of progress has been made.

ESPN Just Doesn’t Get it and Penn State Student Protestors are Idiots

Joe Paterno is a man who failed to do what he should have to stop the sexual assault of children. It doesn’t matter that he’s a legendary football coach. It doesn’t matter how many games he has won. It doesn’t matter how good of a person ESPN’s college football analysts thought him to be.  So why does ESPN keep showing me his head coaching achievements? They show them because that’s what they know. They know coaching achievements. They know statistics. They know Penn State plays Nebraska this weekend and that Penn State will now have a new coach. What they seemingly fail to realize is that none of those things are important right now.

Watch a segment of ESPN today and tell me how many times Jerry Sandusky-a man who has been indicted for the sexual assault of minors-is mentioned. As much as ESPN wants this story to be about Penn State football and Joe Paterno, it’s not. It’s about Jerry Sandusky, the terrible crimes he committed, the victims who were preyed upon, and the others involved, including Joe Paterno, who failed in their responsibility to put a stop to it.

This leads into the delusion that many Penn State students seem to be experiencing right now. Joe Paterno was once a good football coach. He has more wins than any other coach in football history. He was also informed that his long time defensive coordinator was caught anal raping a ten year old boy in the Penn State locker room shower and failed to report it to the proper authorities. He more than deserved to be fired. He should have been fired the minute the grand jury report (warning: very graphic) was released. Any Penn State student who ran into the streets to protest the firing of this man should be eternally ashamed. Every one of them should be made to read the grand jury report out loud and then provide an argument as to why Joe Paterno should be allowed to hold any authoritative position. I imagine we would have a few less rioters in the streets of State College, Pennsylvania.

You Should be Listening to WTF with Marc Maron

You probably know Marc Maron, if you know him at all, as a regular guest from Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn or one of his many appearances on Late Night with Conan O’ Brien. By his own admission, he was a comedian who intentionally sabotaged his own career on multiple occasions. In September 2009, at one of his lowest points, he began hosting a twice weekly podcast in his own garage. What started as a way for Maron to work out his own demons has turned into the go to place to hear other comedians do the same.

In my opinion, there are few things more entertaining or interesting than an interview done well. A great interview makes you forget that an interview is occurring and instead makes you feel as if  you’re eavesdropping on a conversation between two people unaware of your presence. There is possible no better place to get that feeling right now than by listening to the podcast WTF with Marc Maron. 

Maron has the rare ability to break down the walls between himself and the person sitting across the garage from him, largely because he is so open about his own personal issues and neuroticism. Nothing is out-of-bounds, from his rampant drug use, to his shitty past (and current) relationships, to his own misplaced jealousy of his own friend’s (Louis C.K) success. This frankness allows him to ask Carrot Top how it feels to be a comedy punching bag or to question Carlos Mencia about his history of (alleged) joke stealing in a way sparks an honest back and forth (well, except for Gallagher, who couldn’t handle questioning of his racism and homophobia).

The most recent interview with Carrot Top marked the 221st episode of the WTF podcast. In the internet media world, that’s a hell of a success, and pod’s popularity seemingly continues to grow. If you enjoy interesting (and often deep) conversation, then you’ll enjoy listening in. I strongly suggest giving it a chance.

Please, Everyone, Go to Iceland. Just Once.

Amazing time lapse video shot throughout June 2011.

Blind Cat v. Hot Air

Hair dryer wins in a close decision:

“I will not commit suicide while making your iPod.”

In order to address the 16 committed suicides in 16 months by its employees, evil manufacturing plant Foxconn is now requiring its employees to pledge that they will not commit suicide. Nothing prevents suicide like the thought of breaking an entirely symbolic promise made to a company which is almost entirely the reason you want to commit suicide in the first place. No need to address the terrible working conditions that are driving these people to commit suicide to begin with.  A simple pledge should do it.

[via Wired]

I Abhor Violence As Much As The Next Guy….But C’mon Folks

First of all, I have to admit that I am extremely happy about the death of Osama Bin Laden.  I would have preferred that we captured him alive, so we could  watch him slowly deteriorate and wither into nothing over the next 20 years or so.  (For those of you who are unaware, kidney dialysis is akin to torture – just ask anyone who’s had the misfortune to undergo it.)  But all in all, I’m pretty pleased with the way things unfolded.  Another feel good aspect of this story for me is the fact that for about 24 hours or so, it felt like we were one country again.  Now I know this sounds pretty cheesy, but it really made me proud to see my fellow countrymen, Democrat and Republican alike, put aside their differences and celebrate this achievement together.  And although I knew this suspension of political hostilities would only be momentary, it was still nice to see.  The killing of Bin Laden also had another beneficial effect in that it moved the American public to do something that it doesn’t do nearly enough – and that is thank the U. S. military.  Although Bin Laden’s death doesn’t end our struggle with terrorism by a long shot, I feel confident that the vast majority of the American public is pleased about his death.  But, for those people who are not pleased about his death, I have a few words. Read more…

So What Would You Cut??

2009 tax receipt for someone making roughly 35k per year:

So, “constantly bitching about taxes” guy, what would you cut?  Conservatives bitch quite a bit about funding for the arts, but is that $.24 a year crippling?  I’m sure the $46 to “them foreigners” pisses a lot of people off, but improving the world has never troubled me.  Obviously the $287 for the national debt is frustrating, but not likely to improve anytime soon.  The funding for health care research frankly seems a bit low.  I could do without the $229.17 for unnecessary wars though.

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